Learn to Use AND in place of BUT

So many salespeople abuse their client relationships with careless use of the word BUT. Their prospect will say something, perhaps even pose an objection and the response is “Yes, but …” It’s time salespeople dropped this disaster from their vocabulary and replaced it with “Yes, and …” It’s also time sales people learned when it can be useful to employ BUT.

The Power of BUT

In sales we deal with relationships (rapport) and language. It is critical to our success to understand how our behaviour and our language impacts upon our audience. It can, therefore, be important and powerful to discover what kind of internal response is elicited in our prospects and clients by the use of specific words. This enables us to use language in a directed way to get or influence the results that we want. Careful examination of one word can yield great dividends. The word "BUT" is one high dividend investigation.

"BUT" is a negator (a "killer") of whatever meaning or experience is in the language that immediately precedes the word. For some, the image preceding the word "BUT" quickly disappears out of their field of internal vision. So "BUT" is very useful any time you want to (or have to) mention something to someone, and then you want it to diminish it in importance or even have it disappear from their awareness altogether.

Notice what happens in your internal experience when you take any two contents, connect them with "BUT" and then repeat this, reversing the sequence of the two contents. A tired old joke illustrates this nicely. The mother says to the daughter: "I know he's ugly, but he's rich." and the daughter replies, "Mother, you are so right. I know he's rich, but he's ugly."

How to Use AND in Place of BUT

When clients are cautious or wary, they often tend to respond defensively, and may oppose whatever a salesperson says, and find problems with it, no matter how sensible the suggestion might be. This is particularly true for any client in the final stages of a purchase decision where their attention moves to risks. In such a situation, often the other person will reply, "Yes, but . . ." (negating the "Yes" agreement) and then responding with an opposite opinion. "Yes, I can see that, but there is a problem with it." Once someone is focused on a problem, it is easy to get "tunnel vision" and forget that the reason for studying a problem is to find a way to make the suggestion work. Many salespeople then become frustrated because they are stuck with discussing a problem, and don’t know how to get the conversation back to the suggestion that they want the client to consider.

The simplest and most powerful alternative is to repeat what the person just said, replacing the word "but" with “and”. "OK, you can see that, and there is a problem with it." This keeps both of the two representations (the suggestion and the problem) connected together in the person's awareness, and the problem can be considered in the context of the possible advantages of the suggestion.

A second and useful approach is that if you expect that your suggestion is likely to be met with a "Yes, but" response, you can make the first move, and state the reverse of what you want the person to consider. Someone who "Yes, buts" consistently will usually feel compelled to reverse it.

In the example above, if the daughter (knowing that her mother is a "Yes-butter"), says, "I don't know . . . he's ugly, but he's rich," the mother is likely to respond, "Yes, he's rich, but he's ugly." If the mother doesn't reverse it, the daughter can always follow up with the reversal - and now her position is one of considering both sides of the matter, so she can't be accused of being stuck in one narrow point of view!

Conclusion

So how can you use your knowledge of how "BUT" works to defend yourself against a communication that asks you to ignore something that is important to you. The answer is simple, get into the habit of replacing “BUT” with “AND” in your vocabulary. Whenever a client says to you “Yes, I agree but (X)” you just repeat it back to them with “Yes, you agree and “X”.” So, for example; “Yes the program is just what we need but it is so expensive.” Can elicit a response from you of “OK the program is just what you need and it is expensive. Usually, in life and business, you get what you pay for.”

These are very useful ways to keep a discussion on track, and not get caught up in struggling with client’s, habitual and defensive responses. And all these moves, no matter how skilfully done, will not salvage a lousy proposal, no matter how clever you are.

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Geoff Wade

Geoff is the Sales & Marketing Manager of Onirik Pty Ltd. Onirik is a team of professionals focus on business value and measurable outcomes, as the reason for our clients to listen to Onirik. Onirik, together with their partner Brava, delivers training and conducts research in selling skills, management, coaching, motivational leadership, the psychology of persuasion, effective business processes, negotiation, and the practical application of NLP techniques in sales, service, and management.

Special thanks to Clive Alcock, the Director of NLP Corporate, for his valuable input and assistance in completing this article. NLP Corporate www.nlpcorporate.com.au is a strategic implementation partner of Onirik and together we jointly deliver results focused sales solutions.

Phone: +61 (2) 9004 7810

Email: geoff.wade@onirik.com.au

www.onirik.com.au